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responsibleformyownrisksACTION: LATE EVENING
[Once again, Siri should be sleeping. She’s exhausted enough to. But exhaustion doesn’t stop the nightmares, doesn’t stop her from experiencing her death all over again. It’s not... pleasant, waking with the remembered agony in her chest, her back. She will sleep, eventually. There comes a point where she can’t avoid it any longer. But until she reaches that point, she will continue as she’s been doing.
Which, currently, is running laps through the forest, occasionally taking a more difficult route through the trees. She pushes herself to move faster, leaping from the branch she’s on to another, several trees away.
She’s been trying to stay away from the house as much as possible. It’s not fair to her housemates, and she’d rather keep hernightmares dreams and the emotions caused by them to herself, anyway.
The message has only made everything worse. There will be no leaving Luceti for her. There will be no returning home. Not if she wants to remain living. She’s dead, there. And dead she’ll remain. So her choices are remaining here, in Luceti, or attempting to find a place for herself somewhere else. IF that’s even possible. And it doesn’t sound like it is.
So she’ll have to say goodbye to everyone she knows. Everyone she’s met. Everyone from her galaxy.
Siri pushes herself harder, running through the forest at top speed.]
[Once again, Siri should be sleeping. She’s exhausted enough to. But exhaustion doesn’t stop the nightmares, doesn’t stop her from experiencing her death all over again. It’s not... pleasant, waking with the remembered agony in her chest, her back. She will sleep, eventually. There comes a point where she can’t avoid it any longer. But until she reaches that point, she will continue as she’s been doing.
Which, currently, is running laps through the forest, occasionally taking a more difficult route through the trees. She pushes herself to move faster, leaping from the branch she’s on to another, several trees away.
She’s been trying to stay away from the house as much as possible. It’s not fair to her housemates, and she’d rather keep her
The message has only made everything worse. There will be no leaving Luceti for her. There will be no returning home. Not if she wants to remain living. She’s dead, there. And dead she’ll remain. So her choices are remaining here, in Luceti, or attempting to find a place for herself somewhere else. IF that’s even possible. And it doesn’t sound like it is.
So she’ll have to say goodbye to everyone she knows. Everyone she’s met. Everyone from her galaxy.
Siri pushes herself harder, running through the forest at top speed.]
no subject
Date: 2015-02-07 12:57 pm (UTC)"You didn't even notice I was there until I said your name. Siri, you're not fine."
no subject
Date: 2015-02-08 12:56 am (UTC)She sighs, exhausted and a little bit lost and frustrated. And it’s that frustration, more than anything, that loosens her tongue. She doesn’t have the energy to keep arguing with him, anyway. And he’s not likely to just let it go.]
No. I’m not, all right? I’m not fine, I haven’t been fine since I –
[She cuts herself off, making a soft, frustrated noise and scrubbing a hand through her hair.]
But whether or not I’m fine doesn’t much matter anymore, Obi-Wan. I’m either… dead, or forced to remain here in order to remain living. In which case I will have plenty of time to… to BE fine.
no subject
Date: 2015-02-08 03:10 pm (UTC)[He gives her a skeptical look.]
"In all the time I've known you, I've never thought you the type to simply avoid a problem like this."
no subject
Date: 2015-02-09 09:44 am (UTC)[Her voice is sharp, and the fact that she’s all but admitted to having nightmares at all, let along to HIM, sends her stalking a few paces away. She’s not happy at all about this conversation. It’s admitting weakness and she loathes that.
She huffs a laugh.]
Yes, well, dying shifts everything around a little.
no subject
Date: 2015-02-13 03:35 am (UTC)[Blast, that was confrontational. He didn't want confrontational. Oh, why did his diplomacy utterly abandon him at precisely the wrong moments?
He keeps his voice more level as he continues.]
"We're Jedi. We've been taught to accept our death. To let go when the time comes. Accepting it after the fact is no different, I promise you, but you have to let yourself heal. Spiritually, mentally. The nightmares pass, but only if you let them."
[With a slight quirk of his mouth that approached a sad smile, he adds,]
"At least your emotional control hasn't been compromised as well."
no subject
Date: 2015-02-13 04:25 am (UTC)Frustration bubbles up in her chest, because he’s acting like that’s the first time she’s thought of doing it, like she hasn’t been trying to do exactly that since her arrival in Luceti.]
Yes, because I never thought of trying to do that until now.
[She sighs, blue eyes apologetic.]
Thank the Force. [A brief, crooked smile flickers across her face, exhausted and sad.] Not that I’m much joy to live with now, regardless.
[There’s a reason why she’s removed herself from the house as much as possible. And only part of it is because of her desire to hide what she’s going through.
She inclines her head slightly.]
If you’ll excuse me, Obi-Wan, I have a run to continue.
[Because she doesn’t need to feel like any more of a failure as a Jedi than she already does.]